Wait For It, Its Worthy

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Wait for someone who feels breathless whenever they see you. Someone who will look at you as if you’re the most gorgeous person they have ever come across. Someone who will think it’s a dream come true every time they spend time with you. Someone who could not survive being far away from you. Someone who will always be grateful that they have you in their life. Wait for someone who will treasure you dearly in their hearts. Because this someone will not take you for granted. They will not consider you as the someone who is always there, who will always stay, and who will never leave. They will not wait for too long to respond to your messages. They will make sure not to miss any calls from you. They will always find a way to have a conversation with you every day, no matter how busy they become.

Because you will be everything to them. They will not want to miss any details from your day. They will not feel at ease when they haven’t seen you in a while. They will not be able to go to bed at night without hearing your voice, without knowing if you’re okay, without letting you know that they think about you all the time. Wait for someone who will light you up on the inside. Someone who will make your heart flutter by their natural charisma. Someone who will make you feel both nervous and excited by the prospect of meeting them. Someone who will make you feel special, but you will have no exact words to explain why. Someone who will give you more than just a fleeting moment.

Wait for someone who will show you what love is. And don’t rush. Don’t rush into love and settle for someone who’s only good for now. Don’t dive into a relationship just because you’re lonely and you need someone’s company. Don’t feel pressured if you appear at a party alone. Don’t think of yourself as less just because you haven’t found the right one yet. Don’t hurry up. But instead, take your time. Take your time in finding the one who will always be sure about you. Be patient in waiting for the kind of love that will last a lifetime. Trust time even if it will make you feel frustrated in the middle of the night. Trust time because it will soon help you understand why waiting for someone special will be the best decision you’ll ever make in your life.

And keep waiting. Keep waiting for someone who will show you the true definition of real love by their unfading, sweet gestures. Keep waiting for someone who will adjust their world for you. Keep waiting for someone who will be more than willing to offer you a piece of themselves, a piece of their time, and a piece of their lives. Keep waiting for someone who will want to go steady with you and make your relationship with them permanent.

And don’t get tired of waiting. Don’t give up so easily because there is no expiration date as to when you will find the perfect one for you. Don’t close your doors on the possibility of falling in love, no matter what stage of life you are in right now, or will be in the future. Don’t be scared that you will grow old alone. Because someone is also waiting for you somewhere in this world, and they are just waiting for the right time to meet you.

 

I Really Do Like You !!!!

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I was never good at communicating my feelings. Sometimes, I just find myself in articles that I read online and be like “thank you for putting how I feel into words.” I have always imagined how I’m going to let you know of my feelings but I guess this is the best way I can ever do. I call myself a writer but I’m always messed up when emotions are involved. I’ll try my best though – I hope I can articulate my thoughts well enough to send the right message and be understood. Whenever I think about you, about me, about us, I always find myself in a whirlpool.

But if there’s one thing I’m sure of – I’m sure that I like you!! How do I even start this? Would asking questions be a great introduction? Well, do you believe that love is a choice? Or is it a feeling? In a previous relationship, someone once told me that love is a mere decision to make. And at that time, I tried to absorb the idea of it because I’m sure as hell love was a feeling. Through the course of (not so much) experience and stumbling I finally got the hang of it. Love, relationships, happiness, they are abstract – we decide on these abstract ideas. We define them. I have finally understood it.

Life is made of choices, I choose you. And I made a decision after that night that you were in the passenger seat of my car my eyes not on the road but on you, waiting for you to look and you did. To be brutally honest, I’m caught up with moments like that. I collect them inside my head. Knowing you for years, I have a few memories that always get the best of me. Spontaneous road trips and deep talks in the middle of the night that I wish never ended. Those few seconds we pause in the middle of conversations and just look into each other’s eyes. You were there when I was on the verge of losing everything. Random sharing of jokes, funny stuff we see online and big news about our lives. When unexpectedly all of our friends ditch us and we’re stuck just the two of us and it wouldn’t be awkward at all may it be a casual dinner, coffee, or 5-hour trip to somewhere. All of these didn’t mean anything before but they do now. You’re not so bad after all, we’re not so bad after all.

You don’t want to admit it because then it will be real,” a close friend told me this when I asked for advice. It hit me. I was so quick on denying my feelings that if I acknowledge it, it becomes legit. And I’m too scared for that shit. Whenever our friends see something we both can’t see between us, I still get surprised. They’re rooting for us, this ship has to sail! But of course I’m not giving in just yet. I’ve never really believed in having a “type” in a girl. Maybe it’s just coincidence that all my crushes are lanky – but that’s it. Cheesy as it may sound but I long for connection. Someone you can talk to confidently, someone who rides with your jokes and someone who understands your thoughts. And when our friends try to sell you to me (yes, it’s funny, I know), and tell me “what do you even look for in a girl? She’s everything, and “she’s really worth it,” I just stare at the to the sky not knowing what to answer

It would be really hard not to like you. Even before I knew I liked you, I knew then how adorable and kind-hearted you are. As a friend, I enjoyed your company so much and I’m able to talk to you just about anything for hours. And that says a lot about that “connection” I was talking about. You’re different in a good way, I like to know more about you. What makes this so easy is that we never have to try. The way we treat each other just goes without the pressure of being involved too much. It’s comfortable but uncertain, I know there’s so much more to this. I like you and I’m willing to wait for you to see me differently. I have so much to tell you but I’ll keep it for now, I’ll wait until you’re decided yourself. Know that whatever you decide on will depend on you. I can just hope that you’ll choose to try this journey with me. No matter what happens though I would be there not in the distance but right inside your heart

 

Love Me and I Will Love You Back

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I’ve never been one to half as many things, love included.

And I don’t love simply. I go into it with everything I have knowing very well it could end badly in a puddle of my own tears. But I also know every once in a while those chances pay off and something great could come of it.

Just maybe the next chance I take could be the right one.

That’s what I hang onto. I think a lot of people I don’t know how to love the right way. Many fear not being loved back so they don’t give their heart to anyone freely or fully. But the truth is to love anything in life, really love it or love someone it has to come from a genuine place. It doesn’t require love to even be returned to you. The right kind of love is one in which you give knowing well you might not get anything from it. Love comes bearing no pressure or expectation. To be the type of person who can love others without needing it for themselves, that’s what will get you the love you deserve.

I know this. I live by this. I say I love you probably ‘too many’ times in my life. But I always mean it. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s loving the right way.

But love is as complicated as it is simple.

It’s easy to fall in love. It’s impossible to fall out of it. It’s easy to love others. It’s impossible to teach someone how to love themselves. It’s easy to say I love you. It’s hard when you don’t hear it back. And I’ll be the first to admit I’m not an easy person to love, maybe because I value it. Maybe because I put it on some pedestal. But maybe it deserves to be there because when you find the right love it’s everything.

I love too easy when maybe I’d benefit from being guarded.

I trust too simply when maybe I should wait a little longer. I fall too fast and believe too deeply but it’s my unwavering faith that it will one day be mine all but fully is what will get me there. Maybe heartbreak isn’t supposed to make you bitter. Maybe we need to get our hearts broken a hundred times just for that one time of getting it right to learn it’s worth it.

I know heartbreak means I’m taking the right types of chances in life.

But maybe it’s me doing it right and everyone else is wrong. Maybe we need to take those chances fearlessly to get this type of thing we all want even if we won’t admit it. Love is a bit of gambling and I’ve always been one who plays for keeps. Not only do I play for keeps but it’s a game I’m good at. But the game I play is different than the one we’ve come to know about dating. I’ll always play the right type of game. I’ll never play to hurt you. I’ll never play to lead you on. In a world full of liars I promise you I’ll always be honest. And the honest truth is I’ll do everything to make it work. Because this is how you love the right way.

Be vulnerable.

Be fearless. Be good to others. And love unconditionally. Love comes with a bit of risk. The risk is getting hurt. It comes with walls crumbling down when all you want to do is run the other way and build them back up. It comes having faith in one another when you don’t know what is ahead. And trusting each other despite doubts. And if you can trust me and take a chance on me it’ll be worth i.e. ask a few things of you, have patience with me. While I love freely and try to be cautious, I understand the downside to being this type of person. It doesn’t always end in my favor.

I’m not an easy person to love because I value it so deeply. But I don’t have grand expectations. Love me and I’ll love you back. It’s that simple.

What Makes A Relationship Work

khishen 105What makes a relationship work?

Ask a hundred different people and you’ll get a hundred different answers. Here’s an idea you may have never heard before. A recent conversation with a friend got me thinking about our current perception of what it means to be “submissive,” and that maybe there is a totally different way to look at it. Instead of the stigma, what if it could actually benefit our relationships? Make them stronger, healthier, and happier long term. The current understanding is that there is one dominant partner that tells the other what to do. And the submissive partner is simply obedient. What if we change the word “obedient” to the word “willing?”

We are so afraid of being wronged that we lose our ability to be agreeable. We spend more time than we realize in defense mode. This ego prevents us from experiencing the beauty that is feeling truly connected to each other.

If we can check our pride for just a moment and let our guard down, we’d see that it can dramatically change the quality of our relationships. Being submissive sometimes gets a bad rap, but there is an element of allowing that can be a source of power in the dynamic.

Here is the language you need to start using and why.

I want you to tell me what to do because I can’t read your mind.

I often hear people tell me they love their partner. And then somehow in the next moment they are arguing based on a ‘what have you done for me lately’ issue. If I truly love my partner, I want to pay attention to her needs. In order for me to do that, I need to know what those needs are. There is a faulty belief that occurs, and we’re all guilty of it: No one can read your mind. If you need something, it’s on you to ask for it.

It’s devastatingly common for people get upset about things they think their partner should automatically know. For example, “I told her I had a busy day, so she should have known I needed some rest the moment I am home or some comforting words .” Sorry, it doesn’t work that way. The only thing you are accomplishing with that mindset is setting yourself up for disappointment, and setting your spouse up for failure

The other side of that equation is that we can be better about asking each other. If my spouse tells me she is crazy stressed, I can be proactive and ask, “is there anything I can do?” Each of us constantly has our own mental list of worries and to-do’s that keeps us distracted. Be mindful if you are blaming your partner for not being able to think about your needs as well as their own. Because what happens as a result? Anger. Bitterness. Resentment. Learning to manage expectations does wonders for our mental health, and the quality of our relationships.

I want you to tell me how to love you because I take that responsibility seriously.

The lesson is that there are different ways (“languages”) in which people feel love. The goal is to learn to communicate in the way that resonates best with your significant other.

Why is this philosophy so successful? It turns out that a lot of us are existing in relationships where we feel unloved, neglected, or unimportant. Those are some pretty strong sentiments. When we feel that way, it can be overwhelming and and like there is no hope. The truth is, there are small, simple changes we can make that can create a huge, positive ripple effect. A compliment, a hug, a gesture of appreciation.

The one thing that can screw it up? Willingness.

I have to be willing to make changes for the other person. I have to want to make the effort to know your love is felt. I have to care that you know it. And do so without worrying what I’ll get in return.

I want you to tell me how you feel because it helps me understand who you are.

A huge hurdle we could all benefit from overcoming is learning not to take things personally. How many times have you seen your other half in a bad mood and made the assumption it had something to do with you? Or made an assumption that you already knew what it was about? And the defensiveness takes over and we say things like, “What’s your problem now?” Or “What did I do this time?”

We’re not good at talking about emotions, especially the vulnerable ones. The person you are with may not be capable of, or comfortable with that kind of expression. But we all know what it feels like to feel stressed, angry, frustrated, sad, and scared.

So instead of jumping to attack, what if we try compassion and kindness instead? What if we try asking more questions instead of making accusations? What if we give the other person the space and time to open up, and know that we want them to because we want to know what they are feeling and why. It’s the kind of intimacy we don’t pay enough attention to, but the kind that creates the strongest bonds.

I want you to tell me how to talk to you because communication will make or break us.

It’s the most prominent, ongoing issue in relationships. Many people and openly admit, “I’m not very good at communication.” You’re not alone. We are not inherently born with the ability to always say the right thing at the right time.

Further complicating the issue is that the “right” words vary depending on who you are having a conversation with. Some people respond well to constructive criticism, while it sends others into days of self-deprecating. Some people will react to raised voices, while it causes others to shut down. Some people prefer blunt directness (my significant other), while others prefer to breakdown the emotional experience of what is happening (me).

Sadly we don’t magically figure this stuff out in our sleep. We’ve got to be proactive about it. And here’s another revelation: if you’re having trouble communicating, try focusing on listening rather than trying to get your point across. Ask more questions. “What am I doing that isnt’ working?” “What can do better?” And listen to the responses.

I want you to tell me what you want to do to me because I want to be the one you share your erotic self with.

Even in happy marriages. While there are numerous factors, one of the reasons that stood out to me was the experience of people being fearful of telling their partner what they want in bed. The topic of sex is (unfortunately) hard enough to talk about without being made to feel that our desires in that area are too much, disgusting, inappropriate, weird, or wrong. Because of these beliefs, it makes it scary to communicate what we want for fear of judgment, criticism, or rejection.

If the person you are with makes an attempt to communicate sexual interests to you, it might be a good idea to check yourself before you react. Intimate desires, just like emotions, can be really difficult for people to express. An indicator of a strong couple is the ability to be vulnerable with one another. Don’t shut down your partner’s willingness to open up to you.

Something else to consider? When your partner is suggesting trying something new, before you cringe, here’s a mind-blowing revelation: You might like it.

I want to know what makes you happy. I can’t do it for you, but I can support your journey.

With relationships comes sacrifice. We lose some of our individuality when we create a life with another person. It’s not a bad thing, it’s just part of the process. But we do ourselves a disservice when we stop nurturing our own happiness. Our personal goals, dreams, aspirations, bucket list stuff.

The only person responsible for your happiness is YOU. However, we can absolutely support our significant other in trying to achieve, accomplish, or realize anything they identify that might make them feel happier.

 

Slow And Steady

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I want you to know that it’s okay not be the girl who falls fast and hard. It’s okay if you’re unsure at first, and if you don’t quite know what to make of your tangle of feelings.

It’s okay if you’re not sure whether he’s the one.

We romanticise the hell out of instantly falling head over feels for someone. But in reality, you have no idea who you’re falling for. And how could you? How can you know someone after just one date, or one month, or even one year? Truth be told, none of us really know anybody.

We create stories in our heads, and we tell them to ourselves. We paint the picture that we want, instead of what we can see. We all chase the fairy tale. We can’t help but crave a blockbuster romance. We want to be the Romeo & Juliet, the Jack & Rose, the Noah & Allie. Always forgetting none of them ever got their happy ending…

D’you know what’s great? Falling slowly. Slow is sometimes exactly what your heart needs. A break from all the swelling and breaking. Someone who doesn’t turn your world upside down. Someone who’s gonna stick around for a while. Someone who soothes not only your heart, but your soul.

I chose to do something different. The kind of slow where you’ve been hurt before, and you can’t help but think it’ll happen again if you get yourself too excited about this one. The kind of slow where you’re listening to your head as well as your heart. The kind of slow that makes it feel all the more real.

The kind of slow where the butterflies are there but are still, quietly listening, taking every moment in. They were simply preparing to fly.

Many of us are dashing around, blindly reaching out to grab hold of someone. Anyone to help us stand. Because we’re scared what will happen when there’s no one there, and we have to hold our own hand. So we fall hard, because all we desperately want is someone to decide to catch us.

Don’t let anyone convince you that a slow-starting flame burns any less bright. It might start off slowly, yes. But it’s steady. It’s not trying to compete. And more often than not, it continues to stay lit long after the instant ones have gone out

“Nice Guys Never Win” is a total bullshit

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Let me begin with this disclaimer: I am a nice guy. If I say I’m going to call you—I do. If I say I “we should do this again sometime!” I mean it.  I’m the type of guy that you bring home to meet your parents and trust to be alone with your best friend.

I don’t say any of this to brag, I’m saying it because what I’m about to say might make you think otherwise: the “nice guys never win” chant is a whiny load of bullshit. Cut the crap, seriously dude.

The problem is not that you’re NICE—the problem is that you’re CREPPY.

There is a very fine line between sweet and creepy and you “nice guys” like to play jump rope with it. In the dating world, the difference between whether an action is considered sweet or creepy depends on how it is perceived by the other person—not on your intentions. In fact, your intentions don’t really matter at all.

I’ll admit, to the inside observer it can sometimes be difficult to know whether a girl is interested in you or not. So maybe you didn’t realize that your gesture would be perceived wrong. Maybe. But this is not the case for most of you “nice guys”—you know what you’re doing. You know she’s not interested, but for some reason—and this one just blows my mind—you think that you can enter her personal bubble and invite yourself to a level of intimacy that she clearly isn’t keen on.

You’re trying to take on a role in her life that she is trying to cast someone else in—she rejected your audition but you’re determined to get the part anyway. You’re a sore loser. Remember that episode of Friends where Joey doesn’t win a Soapie so he pouts and eventually steals another star’s award? Yeah, that’s you.

You did not get a rose. Get over it.

But you didn’t. You showed up at her house and threw pebbles at her windows. You left a gift on her car with an anonymous note that hinted at who left it there. You hugged her every time you said goodbye—and not just a side hug, one of those “why is he still holding onto me this is getting weird” sort of hugs that leaves the other person feeling smothered and, honestly, a little bit icky.

Now I want to be clear, I’m not saying that just because you crossed the line and did something creepy that you’re an emotional skeezeball. I’ve crossed the line before—in that regard, I’m just like you. I once left a long text to a girl one month after she ghosted me. Did I cross the creepy line? Absolutely. What separates me from you “nice guys,” however, is that I learn from my mistakes—that and the part where I don’t whine about being rejected.

But you guys just don’t learn. You’re creatures of habit—a cheap, sleazy, and, if you’re being honest, not that nice habit.

You use the chameleon approach to dating—you change yourself to match the girl. Whatever she likes, you suddenly become passionate about. You present her with a version of yourself that you think she will like when, in reality, you’re someone else entirely. You wonder why girls seem to go after “bad guys?” It’s because “bad guys” are authentic. They’re not masquerading as someone they’re not.

I do have good news for all of you though—you can pull yourself out of your whiny, self-absorbed, pity party. There are just two simple rules you must follow.

First, any action on your part must be proportional to the level of intimacy you have already experienced with the girl. If you guys haven’t even gone out, don’t go doing anything sweet to win her affections—you have a better shot at that if you would just grow a pair and ask her out.

Second, if you have already expressed your interest and been rejected, for the love of god do not force your emotions on her. Do not shower her with affection and do not spread lies about what happened to cover up how butt hurt you are. Just don’t. Back the fuck up and move on with your life. If you have to convince someone to like you, what’s the point?

Why I like You….

khishen 146I like you because a simple message from you turns my whole day around, bad days because the best when I hear from you.

I like you because you have me re-reading our recent messages when we aren’t talking, smiling as if it’s the first time I’m reading them.

I like you because actually reading your messages for the first time has me subconsciously beaming for minutes uncontrollably. Even when I’m in public.

I like you because while we have a lot in common, we still have plenty of differences that we find interesting enough to explore.

I like you because you have passion. And you have dreams and because you inspire me to follow, and reach, my own.

I like you because you are creative, you have a way with words and you have brought out a side of me that I thought was long lost.

I like you because since meeting you I have been so happy that it is honestly physically uncomfortable. You give new meaning to the term having feelings for somebody. Going weak at the knees has become a very real problem.

I like you because you’re intelligent. You’re curious and you know a little bit about everything. Your wit and wisdom is endlessly fascinating to me and I could listen to you chatter away for hours.

I like you because you are clumsy and a little awkward, but you never try to hide it. You are one of those rare people who are purely and simply, unapologetically, them.

I like you because my goodness, you are so cute. You are the perfect combination of beauty and cute. It is lethal. Your eyes. Your smile. I could go on. And on.

I like you because I knew from the moment we met you would become someone I could trust with all my heart. I am content being completely vulnerable and truly myself with you.

I like you because we both fell into this liking of each other with no warning, no notice and no expectations of what might happen. I like that we are both happy living in this moment.

I like you because you look at me. When I am talking, you are looking into my eyes. When I’m worrying about whether or not I have food on my face you look at me like I’m beautiful, and I believe you.

But I like you because, most simply, you are you.

 

It Just Happened..Never Planned

khishen 134The word ‘Choice’ is described in the dictionary as an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more opportunities. You see we as humans make choices every day, from the choice of waking up or staying in bed 10 minutes longer to the choice of whether or not to message that one boy first. Life is made up of so many choices, from the small insignificant ones to the ones that take weeks to decide on. We make choices and in turn I believe choices make us.

Although I believe all this to be true there comes a crucial time in every one of our lives where for a small, simple moment we don’t get to make any decisions or choices. We don’t get to decide and we certainly don’t get a say in what happens. It’s as if we don’t even realize its happening and all of sudden you just know, this moment I’m talking about, is the moment you fall in love with someone.

Falling in love with you was not a choice. It just happened. Too often people think we pick who we love and it goes from there. This is the furthest thing from the truth. Love chooses us. For me I just woke up one day and realized it was you. It had been you for a long time. I woke up and realized that if I could have you by my side everyday for the rest of time I’d be the luckiest person in the world.

Loving someone comes with the risk of knowing that they can completely destroy you, but you take the chance anyway. Feeling more hope than fear. That’s what love really is, a hope and faith within someone other than yourself. Love is not understanding what you’re feeling because there isn’t a word in the English dictionary to describe what you feel. Love is reckless. Love is a hurricane. Love is also calm. Love is also peace. Love is also comfortable. Love is being able to put their happiness before yours. Love is being able to accept their flaws. Love is confusing. Love is difficult. Love is risky. But love above anything else has got to be the most wonderful, extraordinary and beautiful thing about this life.

I am in love with you. I did not choose to fall in love with you. It simply happened.

How Being Twenty Something Made Me Look At Life Differently

IMG_7330The daily musings of a twenty-something when reality knocks you down, a far-fetched life is the easiest escape to grab onto. But is it really far-fetched? Hell yes, it could be financially draining, but at the end of the day is it not going to give you the satisfaction and happiness you’ve been desperately seeking?

So far in my life, being a twenty-something is a tough phase to go through, accepting the transition from mediocre teenage thinking to a stimulating adult mind. As a master in the art of people watching, I have noticed that people in their twenties are too keen on settling for a life they have always been comfortable with, purely because mediocrity is easier to live with rather than achieving and fulfilling a life of excellence.

A part of that life of excellence can be attained by continuously striving for progress and change. As young adults, we often want the easy way out in most situations and have the tendency of forgetting that it is only through our weaknesses that we grow through life the most. Do not remain in one place, keep moving forward towards bigger and better things that will contribute to your growth as an individual, mentally and emotionally. After all, you do grow through what you go through.

More often than not, people do what they’re told to, and not what they want to, resulting in them living a life for others and not for themselves. That is one of the greatest flaws of humans, putting other people’s happiness above your own. What makes them so great, and you so little? It is important to remember at the end of the day you are all you have, and fifty years down the line you don’t want to regret a choice you made purely based on the benefit of others.

Do not remain stagnant in life; you did not come this far through all your heartaches and triumphs to live a life far less than what you’re capable of. You are more than all the failed job interviews, exams and relationships. You are more than the average salary you eagerly await for at the end of every month. You are more than failure itself, your worth is priceless. Believe in yourself and you will achieve great things, or the doubt train may catch you only for you to end up at the station of misery for the rest of your life.

My contentment comes in the form of travel and fashion, I strive to be a traveler marveling over the hidden treasures of the world whilst clothed in my favorite garments. That’s what I am ultimately working towards. I am doing me, for me. I want to be confident knowing that twenty years down the line, I will not discourage others of living a life that may at first glance, seem difficult. If we can survive through the tough times, won’t it be a breeze going through the easy stuff, reaching those glorious moments of success your life has been culminating towards?

As aspiring adults, there is nothing standing in your way of being the best version of yourself that you could possibly be. You, after all, are responsible for the choices you make and the happiness you create wherever you go and whatever you do. Whatever your dreams and daily musings may be, with a determined mindset and a little faith you will be surprised at how far you can go, even if it does come across as far-fetched. There is a fine line between an extraordinary life and a mediocre one, it’s just up to you where you choose to draw it.

Have I Figured How To Live My Life ?

IMG_7006 (Edited)Did you ever question how you’re moving on with your life? Ever wondered if you’re doing it right or wrong? Wondered if you’re asking for more things than you should or achieving things way less than what you’re supposed to be achieving by now? Ever wondered if your speed is fast enough for this short life or if it’s slow enough to realize its beauty? I know I did. I wondered and kept asking myself in an attempt to find an answer which I guess I managed to get.

My answer was actually nothing but another question. The question was this, what is it exactly that I want from this life. I mean what are my aspirations. To that I answered that my aspirations despite their variety can be understood with one word, life. I want to live. That is what I aspire to do, to live my life to the fullest. To do things I want. Things I choose for myself and that was the answer.

I want to learn to take things slowly if that’s the only way they’d come. You see, if you really want to enjoy something it has to take its time. You have to contemplate it, feel its presence a little bit longer, close your eyes for a second and try to notice how its existence is like in the air, experience life how it has changed even if for this temporary while when that new thing was there.

I want to learn that I can wait for things I want to come true and that the only way certain things are achieved is by waiting, waiting until their time is here. Things like love, like success, like self-realization. Things like finishing a certain major, learning a new language and traveling the world. Things like the end of a treatment or the beginning of a new journey. Things that have to take their time to reach you or for you reach them. Those are what I’m trying to learn to wait for.

I want to learn that I can be patient. That for the things you really love and really want, you can tolerate minutes, days and even years so that when they come they’re all there. So that when you live through them you’d be embracing their finest bit. So that when you find love you’d know how it’s like and not just how its traces feel. So that when you succeed after those sleepless nights, sleeping would taste like something. So that when you finally get to see the world after you have waited for that a long time, a peck of dust in the space around you would look like a miracle.

I want to learn to take things slowly though I am always afraid this would mean I’d be too slow or won’t achieve much in life. However, the truth is taking things slowly doesn’t mean that you should be lazy, it just means that if something takes time to grow you have to give it that time. That though you are so ahead of yourself, some things will have to lag you for a while and what would matter is that you don’t give up on them during that time. That when you feel sad, you gotta let sadness take its time just the way you have to acknowledge your happiness while it’s around. That when they say there’s no elevator to success and you have to take the stairs they probably know what they mean and you probably have to believe them.

I want to learn to take things slowly and to let them flow the way they’re meant to. I want to learn to feel with all my heart. I know it will take time but it is time I am fine with giving because I know it’ll feel differently then.

I want to learn to take things slowly even if it meant I’ll have to long for them, that longing would be part of the slow process. Because when you think about it, ain’t the best things we ever had were the ones that came after so much longing. So when my waiter is a little late but he finally brings me my coffee, I could enjoy it till the last drop. When I get to meet the love of my life, the universe would finally make sense.

When I accept failure the way I accept success, it’ll make me understand what touches my heart the most, it’ll make me realize how much I should work for success.

I want to learn to take things slowly because rushing things isn’t any good. I know that I am afraid that life won’t be long enough for all that which I wish to do but maybe it’s not always about doing everything as much as it’s about doing things you want the right way, feeling them completely. Maybe that’s what perfection really is. To remember the small things you’ve done because you felt them immensely no matter how minor they have been.

Still, people are afraid to feel that much. They are afraid to take things slowly because that means they’d take much of their minds and hearts. They’d then be so hard to get over. What if you feel your loss so much that you get trapped in it, that you think there’s nothing beyond it. What if you love so much and your love doesn’t reciprocate, will you break then with all the feelings you’ve kept for this love. I know from where this is coming. I’ve had those fears myself but I started to think differently.

Maybe by the end of the day what would really matter is that you’ve been true to yourself. That you’ve done and said what you felt. That you took things slowly because you were trying your best to come to your own expectations and not those of anybody else. That you believed that what is meant to happen will find its way but that you can still hope for it and keep an eye for it. Maybe it’s about knowing that you were feeling with all your heart, living on the edges, taking all the risks possible of falling and being shattered because you know that nothing feels like an authentic real life.

Maybe by the end of the day it’s what your heart has felt that really matters. So maybe, for the sake of your heart to read slowly that you start believing you’re one of the characters in a novel. To eat slowly that you think of the stories behind the ones who have cooked your meal. You learn to kiss slowly that if your lover is a book you’d feel like you’re reading one more page with every passing second. To look around you as slowly as you could that you see the beauty and the ugliness alike, that you know life can’t be but with both. And to live at your own pace without rushing things if rushing won’t get you what you really want from life.